The Rager/Transcript
(Opens to Lord Hater's ship. Zoom in to show Hater has captured King Bingleborp.) Hater: Whoo! (throws King Bingleborp into the cell) That's one more. Peepers, put it on the board. (Cut to the Villain Leaderboard. Hater moves from Number 5 to spot Number 3.) Peepers: You're number three, sir. I'm so proud of you. Hater: Hear that, Biggieborp? Number three! I conquered your planet (points to Cashmere), I conquered your planet (points to the Mole King), I conquered all your planets. And now it's time for (imitates drum roll) your ultimate destruction! (King of Sherblorg 7 faints) To the torture room. WHOO! Peepers: Sir, I really love the enthusiasm, but it's really late, and I'm really tired. Can't we just destroy them in the morning? Hater: AW!! But I wanna destroy 'em now! Right, guys? Peepers: Sir... Hater: Okay... Sorry, guys. Peepers says we gotta wait till tomorrow. So just enjoy yourselves. And don't even think about it being the last night of your sad little lives. (King Bingleborp turns around to see the skeleton. He looks terrified.) Hater out! (turns on force field) WHOO! Destructor: GAH! I JUST WANNA TAKE HIS BONY LITTLE SKULL- ''' '''Destructor's sock: Destructor, your blood pressure. (Destructor sighs, then turns back to his regular self. Pan to the next jail cell, where we see Princess Demurra and her husband, Draykor, who is crying.) '' '''Demurra:' Baby, it's gonna be okay. Beeza: Probably not. We are all clearly doomed. Wander: (offscreen) Well, now, I wouldn't say that. (We see Wander and Sylvia in a jail cell. The imprisoned rulers exclaiming excitedly.) Cashmere: If brave Wander and noble Sylvia are captured, then surely all is lost! Sylvia: ''(opens the jail cell door)'' Captured? Please. We just needed a place to crash for the night, so we popped in. (Wander releases all the rulers.) Don't worry. We bust outta here all the time. We'll get you out. (She punches the force field, causing her to be electrocuted, then gets flipped to a wall.) What the- force field? W'ander:' That's new. King Bingleborp: Grop dang it! Now what are we gonna do? (The rulers start to mutter.) '' '''Wander:' Come on, you are brave and noble rulers. You laugh in the face of danger. You live every day as if it was your last. King of Sherblorg 7: But it is our last. Wander: Even better! Are you gonna let a little thing like certain doom get you down? No! We shall not go quietly into that good night! Rulers: Yeah! Wander: We shall rage until we're out of fight! Rulers: Yeah! Wander: WE. SHALL. PARTY!! Rulers: Yeah! Wait now. What? (begin to mutter) Wander: Prison party! (He takes off his hat. Balloons and streamers come out.) (Cut to Hater sleeping in his room.) Hater: (snoring) (Distant music is heard when he's asleep. Hater then wakes up.) Hater: What the? That sounds like a... (The title card appears, freeze-frame.) Hater: ...surprise victory party! (Cut to him looking for the Watchdogs) Come on, guys, where are you? You can't hide my party from me. (cut to him in Peepers' bedroom) Caught you, C-Peeps! Huh? (He sees Peepers asleep and listening to self encouraging tapes) Peepers: (recording:) You are strong, you are evil, you are tall. (Cut to the party that Wander held in the prison.) Sylvia: So, buddy, appreciate you keeping spirits up, but shouldn't we, oh, I don't know, get outta here before we're blasted into oblivion?! Wander: Syl, never underestimate the power of a party. Sylvia: I don't care.... (feedback sounds) -eoke! There's a karaoke machine?! (She bumps King Bingleborp out of the way, grabs the mic and starts to sing.) Sylvia: (singing, very off-key) Sweet bingleborp, bingleborp, bingleborp Let the sunshine push away the rain, sweet bingleborp (As she sings her song, the camera pans to the outside of the prison. Hater walks in.) Hater: How dare they throw a party in my prison and not invite me?! (He turns off the force field, enters the prison room to see there's no party and all the rulers are back into their own prison cells.) Hater: Huh? Where's the party? Mole King: No party here. Just bemoaning our impending doom. (Hater exits the prison room and turns on the force field. The party starts again as we see the rulers dancing. When Hater turns off the force field, the party's gone again. He turns the force field on, again we see the rulers hitting the pinata shaped like Hater's face. Again, Hater turns off the force field to see no party. He turns it on again and the party continues. He turns off the force field again and still no party is going on here.) Hater: Oh, yeah?! Well, I'm gonna throw my own awesome party, and it's gonna be awesome! (Cut to a rather deserted "party" that Hater held. There's only him and two Watchdogs. One Watchdog sits at the table, while the other is lying on the hospital bed. We hear a steady beeping sound.) Hater: Whoo! (The beeping continues, then turns into flatline sounds. Hater zaps that Watchdog lying on the bed and the beep resumes. Hater sighs.) (Then we hear the dance music from "The Party Animal" from the distance.) Watchdog 1: Ooh. What's that? Hater: Oh, it's just those stupid rulers and their stupid party. Watchdog 1: 'There's another party? '''Hater: '''Yeah, a super lame one in the prison with karaoke, games, and scrumptious . But it's in no way- ''(Before Hater can finish his sentence, the two Watchdogs ran to the party.) '''Hater: ...as awesome as this one. (A balloon pops. Cut to a queuing line.) Watchdogs: (as Hater cuts their line) Excuse you!/Ow!/Hey!/Come on! Hater: Lord Hater, number one superstar. (rock music plays as Hater strikes a pose.) Moose: Not on the list. (Hater gets shocked.) Hater: How does one get on the list? Moose: Watchdogs and deposed royalty only. (He stares at the camera briefly before he zoomed off. Then, he shows up again wearing a fake beard and a gold crown.) Watchdogs: (as Hater cuts their line again) Ow!/What's your problem, man? Hater: (in high-pitched voice:) Ahem! It is I, deposed king, uh... Schmater. (at the camera) Nailed it. (Moose squints at Hater, then lets him in to the party. When he enters the party, the rulers just glare at him.) Hater: All right. Time to show these chumps how to party Hater-style. I mean, (in high-pitched voice:) Schmater-style! (Cut to Hater standing in front of the table by himself. Sylvia is still singing in background.) Hater: ''(stops the Mole King) (in high-pitched voice:)'' Cool party, huh? Just a bunch of totally legit kings celebrating being destroyed by the terrible and handsome Hater, what what? (Slurps his drink loudly, the Mole King drops his cake on the floor and walks away) (Demurra walks to him angrily. She has shackles on her wrists.) Hater: (in high-pitched voice:) I like your bracelets. Demurra: These are shackles. (Demurra walks away. Cashmere comes over to grabs a drink.) Hater: Uh cheerio, aye. (Cashmere drops the ladle into the bowl and walks away.) Wander: We gotta let Lord Hater join the party. Rulers: (disagreeing) Wander: Come on. What happened to being bold, and living tonight like it's the last night of our lives? Taking risks, doing crazy things, and what's crazier and riskier than partying with the guy who's gonna destroy us? Rulers: (sighing) Nothing. Wander: Right! Never underestimate the power of a party! Hater: (spitting his drink, in normal voice:) Wander, what are you doing here? Wander: Well, same thing you are. Havin' fun, right? Schmater, is it? Hater: (sputtering, in high-pitched voice:) Oh, yes. Totally. I, uh, King Schmater, loves havin' fun. Not like that... no-fun-having, planet-taking Lord Hater. Ooh, I hate him so much for taking my planet. (growls) Rulers: (sigh) (Cut to Sylvia, who is still singing.) Sylvia: But I've got nine more songs to go! Wander: You've had enough! (Wander pushes Sylvia away, she drops the mic and King Bingleborp catches it. Music plays.) (Song: We're Gonna Party Like It's Your Last Night Alive) King Bingleborp: Oh, if you're not happy, If you're filled with sorrow, Well just party, everybody (Party everybody) Like there's no tomorrow Oh, we're gonna boogie Going wild We're gonna party like it's your last night alive 'Cause it is, everybody. Let's party! (Cut to Peepers' bedroom.) Peepers: (recording:) You are important. You are talented. Hater: (in high-pitched voice:) You are a tiny little unicorn prince (all giggling) with a luxurious, flowing mane.(all giggling) King Bingleborp: Are you filled with anger? Are you filled with hate? Well just party, everybody (party, everybody) And you'll feel great We're going bonkers We're going bonkers! Going nuts Going nuts! We're shakin' our booty Shakin' our booty. Shakin' our butt Shakin' our butt! We're gonna boogie We're gonna boogie! Going wild We're gonna party like it's your last night alive Let's go, everybody! Oh, we're gonna party, party We're gonna party, party! (Sylvia hits Hater with a pillow, causing his fake beard and crown to fall off. Everyone stares at him as a tense music plays and the sound of a heartbeat going faster. There was a long pause. Hater quickly puts on his beard and crown.) Wander: Schmate's great, so chillin'. Schmate's great, so chillin'. Everyone: Schmate's great, so chillin'! Schmate's great, so chillin'! Schmate's great, so chillin'! Schmate's great, so chillin'! Hater: (in high pitched-voice:) Let us party till the break of dawn! King Bingleborp: Party, party, whoo! (Cut to the next morning. We hear a rooster crowing.) Rulers: Toodle-oo./Good-bye./Salutations./ Bye, you guys./Thanks. Wander: So long, friends, and remember... Destructor's sock: Never underestimate the power of a party. Sylvia: Or a good night's sleep. (weary sigh) Can we go break back into the prison? (Cut to Hater in the prison cell.) Peepers: Sir? Sir! Sir!! (Hater walks up, groaning.) Peepers: Sir, where are the deposed rulers scheduled for destruction? Hater: (tired) I, uh don't know exactly where they went. To tell the truth, it was a pretty wild party. I'm not exactly sure what happened. Peepers: Was Wander there? Hater: Uh yeah? Maybe. Man, what a party. Whoo! (Peepers turns around, revealing that his face has been scribbled. Cut to the Villain Leaderboard, Hater goes down from Number 3 to Number 10 again. Back to the prison room, Peepers locks him inside.) (Screen cuts to black.) Category:Transcripts